Do You Drink?

If any stranger were to ask me how much I drink during the week, I would probably say "Anytime I can convince Max to get me a bottle of wine." (Which turns out to be pretty easy) I usually have no shame in admitting the frequency of my alcoholic intake, because I drink for enjoyment and am pretty responsible. Sometimes I drink too much, but don't we all? Well the answer to such a simple question can be much more difficult in a different situation.

*Before you read the rest of this, know that we have been HONEST throughout our sessions! Except when we were asked about hitting someone, and Max failed to mention the time he punch a mentally challenge kid that bit him in second grade. 

Anyways... Max and I were at another session of pre-martial counseling and were asked "Do you drink?" 

We managed to keep our cool for about 10 seconds, and then we made eye contact.  Immediately we burst into laughter. What the hell is wrong with us?! That question isn't even funny. We didn't say a word, yet we already look like alcoholics. Great.

We finally collected ourselves, and I stepped in to answer first. I really wanted to eliminate the possibility of Max saying something stupid or true like: "Most nights." 

Me: "Only about twice a week." (Lie)

Max: "Hard alcohol or beer? haha Just kidding....Yeah just a couple times a week." (Lie) 

*more giggles

Counselor: "How much do you drink in a sitting?" 

Max: "For me or her?" 

Counselor: "Both" 

Me: "Only 1 or 2 glasses of wine, usually.. " (Lie)

Max: "Same, just a few."

At this point we thought we had passed the test and that we convinced this guy that we are good people.  (As if drinking makes you a horrible person) Unfortunately he had more questions to ask. 

Counselor: "Is this the same on the weekends? Do you ever get buzzed or drunk?" 

Yet another question we found hilarious.  What was wrong with us? These questions aren't funny! 

Max: I will have maybe 4 beers. (BIGGEST LIE! That answer is understandably laughable.) 

There was no point of return by now. We had lied enough about our drinking and either I was going to shamelessly continue or step up and tell the truth.

Me: Yeah, I stick to a couple glasses of wine. ( BAHAHA!) 

What? I wasn't going to throw my man under the bus. We stick together.  That's what a marriage is all about, right? 

At the end of the day, Max and I really only learned that we are more immature than we originally thought. But hey! At least we are a team!

-Lindsey  

BTW...I wrote this with a big glass of Macchia "Mischievous" Zinfandel in front of me, and it's only Wednesday. Drink up!